1. I'm 24 and I still get ID'd everytime I buy a beer. The drinking age here is 19, and I'd like to think I look at least THAT old.

2. When I was in highschool, I had this theory that love didn't exist. My theory was that when we were all monkeys, we had sex with anyone, anywhere, it didn't matter. Then, when we grew to be smarter monkeys, we started to get territorial and jealous of other monkeys sleeping with our monkeys. Fights began to break out, and the future of monkey-kind was at stake. Then, the smartest monkey of them all said, "I got it! We'll create this thing, called "love". When we say we "love" another monkey, it means no other monkey can sex with him or her." And then we were all happy again.

3. I believe in love now.

4. A few years ago while looking at myself in the mirror, I made up a poem. "Jump...and your boobs jump with you. Land...and they bounce alone." I thought I was a genius.

5. Speaking of boobs, I wish mine were bigger.

6. When I get in a bad mood, nearly nothing will snap me out of it.

7. I rarely get into bad moods.

8. I am very stubborn. I'm notorious for arguing a point in which I know I am completely wrong, just for the hell of it.

9. My favourite book ever is Bruce's Loose Tooth by Eileen Landay. My second favourite is The Blue Day Book by Bradley Trevor Grieve.

10. I love the smell of lilacs. They grow all over the backyard of my mother's house, and in the summer when they bloom I pull up a chair and sit outside and read for hours.

11. I'd rather be too cold than too warm.

12. I used to win all the public speaking contests in grade school. The first one was about my family. I told everyone that my stepmother used so much lipstick that she kept all the makeup companies in business, and that my stepfather�s eyebrows were bushier than the hedges outside.

13. I wasn�t kidding about my stepmother though. She has her very own makeup room (bigger than most bedrooms). She wakes up in the morning, all wrinkly with her saggy butt and disappears in that room for hours. When she finally emerges, she looks 10 years younger and her butt is perky again. I�m fairly convinced that she tapes her ass up with duct tape, but so far I have no proof of this.

14. Even though I�m apparently good at it, I hate public speaking. Every time I got up on that stage I thought I was going to pee myself in fear.

15. One time I got angry with my brother and poked him right in the eye. Then I hid in a closet for 3 hours.

16. When I was little, my brother told me there was a rollercoaster in the bathroom at my grandmother�s house, and stuck me head first down the metal laundry shoot. So he totally deserved the eye-poke.

17. When my brother and I first met our stepfather, we hated him. We were out at camp at the time, and we spent all day on the beach killing bugs with our magnifying glass. That night we stuck them in our stepfather�s salad, and he didn�t notice and ate every single one, including a rather large, crunchy beetle.

18. I�ve had basically the same haircut since I was 7, but the colour always changes.

19. I used to be a VERY picky eater. Up until the age of 12 I lived on scrambled eggs, raw wieners with ketchup, and plain noodles.

20. So far during my life I�ve broken 3 bones, and each time everyone who was around me didn�t believe me.

21. When I was 7 I wanted to be a pony when I grew up.

22. I�m hopelessly addicted to Froot Loops.

23. When I�m frustrated, I shave my legs. I find nothing calms you down faster than the concentration needed to not gash yourself with the razor.

24. I adore Jack Daniels.

25. Cranberries make me drool uncontrollably. And not in a good way.

26. I am afraid of the dark.

27. I wish most girls wouldn't fight dirty, because I don't.

28. January 28th, 1981 was when I was born.

29. My favourite food is Finnish pancakes.

30. I can give the middle finger with the toes on my left foot. I'm sure I'll be famous someday because of it.

31. The smell of coconut suntan lotion makes me nauseous.

32. My favourite season is Autumn because of the crunchy leaves.

33. I never learned how to swim.

34. When I drink too much my nose goes numb.

35. Eventually my whole face does too. It's a good thing, because then I'm forced to stop, since I can't successfully direct fluids in my mouth any longer.

36. I went to a Catholic grade school, from Kindergarten to grade 8. We had to go to confession once a month. I was convinced the priest hated me, because he always gave me a gabillion Our Father's in penance for small things like not taking out the trash, and only a few Hail Mary's to my friends, who would chase their brother's around with kitchen knives.

37. My brother was a silly kid. One time when he was 6, we were landscaping our front yard and there were a lot of big rocks lying around. He made a game of throwing them in the air. When my aunt caught him and said, "Scott, you're going to hit yourself!" he, in spite, picked up the biggest rock available, tossed it up in the air, and knocked himself out.

38. When he was 4, he also ate a pack of cigarettes.

39. Needless to say, I'm convinced my parents loved me best because I was quiet and didn't do stupid things.

40. Except for that brief year where I was fascinated with bees and would constantly pick them up and get stung.

41. Or that other time my cousin convinced me that birch bark tasted like icing sugar so I ate a whole bunch of it.

42. Birch bark does NOT taste like icing sugar.

43. I hate shopping. Especially at the mall.

44. I laugh when I'm nervous.

45. In grade 6 I won a Young Writer's Award for a story which involved me getting abducted by aliens, escaping, falling in the ocean, meeting a whale named Billy Buttcheek, and finally getting home by way of a taxi cab that came out of the sky.

46. One time my very first serious boyfriend turned to me, looked me straight in the eye and nervously said "I love you." Inwardly, I went into complete shock and I calmly replied "I love donuts." Years later, That 70's Show did a scene almost exactly the same as that, only the line was, "I like cake" and I'd just like everyone to know that they stole that line from me.

47. I don't like confrontations. Instead I run and hide.

48. The only makeup I understand is lip gloss and foundation.

49. I love hugs.

50. I can make perogies from scratch. And they rule.

51. My favourite flower is the forget-me-not. My second favourite are daisies. And I hate carnations.

52. I'm terrified of dying.

53. Because I'm afraid I will cease to exist in any form whatsoever. If I'm dead, I probably won't give a shit because I won't be around to argue, but still, it's a scary thought.

54. That said, I do believe in a God. A God that has a very good sense of humour. How else do you explain the rather ridiculous shape of the male genitalia?

55. Sometimes I lack motivation.

56. My grandma used to be my best friend, but we grew apart as I got older. She told me it would happen. I wish it hadn't.

57. I actually enjoyed highschool. Or rather, the adventures we had while attempting to not attend highschool.

58. I've never been presented with the oportunity to play spin-the-bottle, and I always wish I had.

59. One time some events had occurred that found me drunk and by myself in a park. I came to the conclusion that one of the trees was shifty-eyed and plotting against me, so I yelled at it to "Get the hell out of my goddamn park!!" and when it didn't comply, I punched it in the trunk.

60. My favourite joke in the world is: So, an Irish guy walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Sir, do you realize you have a steering wheel down your pants?" And the Irish man says, "Yah, I know! It's driving me nuts!"

61. My favourite pick-up line is, "Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I?"

62. I wear green contact lenses.

63. I drive a '90 Z24 Cavalier, and her name is Betty. I love Betty.

64. One of my first pets was a little frog. Then my brother's pet turtle stepped on him and squashed him. I've never liked turtles since.

65. I have nice fingernails. For some reason, I'm able to grow them really long without breaking. But I never paint them.

66. Instead, I paint my toenails. Which, incidently, I DON'T grow out long, because that would be disgusting.

67. A girl I knew in highschool grew out the toenail on her big toe so long, it created a hole in her running shoe and protruded out of it. She sure was weird.

68. My highschool English teacher loved my writing, and was always encouraging me to do something with it. But then I started reading more and realized I actually sucked, so that idea went out the window.

69. I wish I were a better writer.

70. I hate ferrets. One time, for no reason at all, my cousin's ferret lunged through the air from a chair 3 feet away, aimed at my jugular vein. Then, when I flailed in panic and batted it out of the sky, it landed with a splat! on the floor at my feet, hissed at me, and bit my bare foot. I really, REALLY hate ferrets.

71. I was also bitten by a rather large, angry pike when I was 7. I cried for an hour, because I thought they were poisonous.

72. I hate wearing socks.

73. I wish I could wear sandals year round.

74. My dream is to take a roadtrip to explore the Eastern provinces. Newfoundland in particular.

75. I am French, Ukrainian, English and Scottish. The Ukrainian side of the family were originally all travelling gypsies. My grandmother can read tea leaves.

76. I like lakes. I'm happy to live on the shore of Lake Superior. I don't think I could live anyplace where you weren't close to water.

77. Because when I'm sad, I walk down to the Marina and stare at the little lighthouse across the bay, and it seems to make everything better.

78. This is why:

The odd looking peninsula you see in the distance is called The Sleeping Giant.

79. When I was growing up, I told everyone that I was going to live in that lighthouse someday.

80. I was supposed to be born on Valentine's Day.

81. I was premature. The umbilical cord was wrapped around my neck. I had jaundice, dislocated hips, and I spent many weeks in an incubator so I could continue to grow.

82. Later, we learned I was deaf in one ear (I grew out of it), and had an obvious lazy eye. While one eye would stare straight at you, the other one would be looking at the ceiling. I wore an eyepatch for 7 years to correct this. I looked like a pirate.

83. Despite all these strange abnormalities, I look normal now. I swear.

84. My most embarrassing moment was in grade 6, and it involved a pair of pink flowered underwear, my crush of 4 years, and an uncomforable moment where the two of these subjects met each other in the middle of English class.

85. The second most embarrassing moment happened in the last year of highschool. I was walking home with a boy I was trying to woo, and wasn't paying attention and ran staight into a No Parking sign, bounced off, and fell right on my rump. I'm so smooth. He ended up dating me anyway.

86. He was in the army. He got ordered around a lot by his superiors. He asked me EVERYTHING. "Can I kiss you?" "Can I hug you?" "Can I hold you close?" Fuck! I'm 19 and horny! Quit asking me stupid questions!

87. He ended up cheating on me. I wish he'd asked me if he could do THAT.

88. I like chocolate chip cookie dough way better than baked cookies.

89. I think it takes the fun out of things if you don't enjoy the little things in life.

90. Like when someone accidentally sneezes and farts at the same time. It's FUNNY!

91. One time Ryan was showing me how to do sit-ups and he was counting...1...2...and on the third sit-up he farted. Now I call them fart-ups.

92. One time I hit myself in the face and gave myself a fat lip with my hairbrush when I was brushing my hair. Which makes me think that sometimes I make a really lousy girl.

93. This is my favourite picture in the whole wide world. My friend Kyla drew it for me a long time ago.

94. I like to make up my own songs to describe such mundane chores as cleaning the bathtub, vaccuuming, doing the dishes, etc. I also like to make up new lyrics to existing songs.

95. Usually these homemade songs come with an interpretive dance.

96. When I get mad, I cry. It makes me a rather lousy fighter.

97. I enjoy the company of people. I'm not too fond of being alone for long periods of time.

98. I especially don't like sleeping in a house by myself.

99. Until I was 17, I thought our Prime Minister lived in the White House with the President of the U.S.

100. I hated gym class. I adore playing frisbee.

101. I like my life. I'm happy to be here.