Things I've learned lately:

~ Anaesthesiologists won't give you spontaneous epidurals if you tell them you want to try one because, "they sound neat." (Sorry Jennifer, I tried).

~ It's funny when wrinkly old men escape from the crazy ward and run flailing down the day surgery floor, hospital gown flapping in the wind, screaming, "I have SARS! Bwahaha!"

~ Don't ever ask the nurse which vein she is putting your IV in. Because when she stammers and guffaws and proceeds to ask every other single nurse on the floor and they don't know either, it will make you afraid, just a little.

~ Nurses never warn you when they're going to spontaneously lift up your gown to stick things on and near the boobal area. Surprise! You are now flashing the entire operating room.

~ It's comforting being drugged and having your last final coherent moments watching two surgeon's assistants engaging in a lively gauze fight across the room, your surgeon drinking coffee and flirting with a nurse, and someone in the background whining, "You got to cut LAST time!"

~ If there's anything ever remotely wrong with a part of your body, your significant other will roll on it in his sleep.

~ Just because the stitches are a fun, funky blue colour, don't let it trick you into thinking it'll be equally as fun to take them out.

~ You should giggle when the nurse says, "I'm not sure the stitches were supposed to come out yet. So I'm going to tape you up and you need to come back if it all splits open." Because really, what else can you do?

So, after 7 months of surgery and physiotherapy and casts and needles, my arm is now fixed. I can't tell you how relieving it actually is. And how serious I am about wearing elbow pads everywhere I go. Because holy fuck. Never again.

Thanks very much for all the well wishes!