Do you ever have one of those days when you just feel really old? Today I woke up bright and early for my midterm, hopped out of bed, and my legs gave out. Lying askew on the floor in a heap of newly laundered clothing that I was too lazy to put away (go me!), I sat and waited for the lights to stop flashing in front of my eyes. My roomate, having woken up to the sound of bones crunching, lazily walked into my room, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. Peering at me intently, she said, "Hey, don't you have an exam in a half hour?" Thanks, hun. Right after I pick the carpet out of my teeth.

Now, I'm only 21. But I feel my body is starting to do things without my permission. Such as, I find that more and more I walk into rooms and forget why I'm there. I bump into walls and people that usually I could avoid with ease. I take naps between classes. Going on a liquid diet seems more appetizing to me than eating any more toast. I've forgotten my own name. And today I forgot which hand was holding my cigarette, and tried to instead smoke the pencil I had in the other.

My friends are getting married. My friends are having babies. Some will be done college/university for good this year. I pass 13 year olds on the street and when they try to bum smokes I think, "What punks."

I can see it now. My future is not too far off. Soon I will be sitting in my rocking chair on the porch, sipping Jack Daniels and sucking on chicken bones, cackling gleefully at neighbourhood children.

Just look at the differences already. Last summer was spent roadtripping, camping, partying, and trying to convince my dear friend Kristy that her breasts were NOT a different entity and doing things without consulting her first.

This winter was spent sleeping, working, and discussing the colour of paint we'd decorate the apartment with next year.

What an embarrassing downhill slide. Bring back loud music and tequila shots! Bring back seeing how far we can go on one tank of gas and sleeping outside in the rain! And for God's sake bring back the unruly breasts!

I'm not ready to be old!

*shakes fist at the world*